After three years my friend Turmoil is back. Three years ago I had the same questions taking over every activity I did. The questions were "Why am I doing anything?" What is this life for?" And etc etc "philosophical shit"... It took me some time earlier to get over that... I read Ayn Rand, Vivekananda, Plato , Socrates, Aristotle ...and could not make any sense of how can I use their work to help in my turmoil ...I read Osho and found some of his teachings helpful .. but still nothing was answered .. and those were really bad days .. i didn't do anything .. would just lie on my bed (or in office just sit on my seat) .. i remained sad for no particular reason ... anger was my only companion ... then i just started doing things after doing which i felt happy without worrying whether they are of any use ... aur will they lead to anything ... so i would stand in my balcony in night for endless hours in a state of 0 thought .. i started drawing and writing ... and soon the number of activities i was doing kept on increasing .. and i thought i had found my way to live this life ... just be happy come what may ... take everything in a lighter sense ... and just have fun .. so i would laugh when i applied for higher i didn't get even one call .. or i would be rated best performer of my company ... both were equally good/bad ... i would laugh when i will lose a friend/gf (never been sure !!!) after 2 years of long friendship .... i thought i had found the cheat code for the game called life ...
But now the same turmoil is back ... why? .. did i stop doing things which made me happy ... or i stopped feeling happy while doing them ... i dont know .. those sleepless nights are back .. and those lazy days are back .. and i am down... the only thing which is keeping me going currently is that i have always come out of these turmoil feeling really happy and .. these turmoil have always lead to my success in personal and professional life .. i hope it happens this time too ... and this turmoil shit goes ASAP
even though
Even though i dont say
darling, i just wanna stay away
unlit in the darkest of nights
because if i turn on the lights
start enjoying those lovely nights
everything will again ignite
leading me to a sorry plight
because soon u'll be gone
leaving me all alone
although i am no seer
still i observe that fear
so darling if u dont have anything to say
please dont play
darling, i just wanna stay away
unlit in the darkest of nights
because if i turn on the lights
start enjoying those lovely nights
everything will again ignite
leading me to a sorry plight
because soon u'll be gone
leaving me all alone
although i am no seer
still i observe that fear
so darling if u dont have anything to say
please dont play
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
